The word for today is schadenfreude. It’s a delightful word. Let me explain how it is used properly.

Take this news story, for instance.

MALIBU, Calif. (AP) — A dead whale rotting near the Malibu homes of Barbra Streisand, Bob Dylan and other celebrities is causing a gigantic cleanup problem as authorities try to decide who’s responsible for getting rid of it.

Stop laughing. How would you like to live next to  that stinking rotting corpse and Rosie O’ Donuts too?

I’m sure PETA would know what to do. Think of all the snail darters that could feast off this massive carcass. Where is the EPA? They should be demanding that it stay on the beach. It could feed the flying rats for months!

Far be it for me to expect these liberal types to figure out what to do. They’ll need a committee with a blue ribbon panel to ‘study’ the problem. That will mean money from the U.S. Government.

Maybe Babs could just sing to it. Then it will want to go away.

I could tell them what not to do.

“Never let a crisis go to waste.”