Oh here we go. We are only a few hours from another TelePrompTer tennis match from the Dear Reader. It’s guaranteed to be the greatest speech since President Franklin Roosevelt spoke to the nation on television back in 1929. No, not really. That one was better because it happened only in Joe Biden’s brain, which is an even scarier place than a Barbara Walters sexual fantasy. (Don’t say I didn’t warn you.)
As we discussed on last Sunday’s show, that day’s designated Obama administration stooge/mouthpiece Dan “The Law is Irrelevant” Pfeiffer was tasked with reminding everyone that Barack has not only a pen, but also a phone, and he’s not afraid to use them, damn it! Then a series of other repellant Regime regulars like Jay “I’m tap dancing as fast as I can” Carney robotically repeated it, just in case we were too thick to understand what we were being told; specifically, Barack will work with anyone and listen to anyone’s ideas, but if they deviate at all from what he knows is best for everyone, he will simply do as he pleases. Rule of law? What rule of law? Constitution? Ain’t nobody got no time fo’ that! Right, Sweet Brown?
It’s too bad that commie fossil Pete Seeger couldn’t have survived one more day so that, instead of performing tonight for the original community organizer, he could have entertained us with a special “State of the Union” version of one of his classic tunes, “If I had a hammer.” I can just hear it now, ending with this rousing chorus, “I have a pen, and I have a phone, and I’ve got some decrees to impose all over this land. It’s the pen of social justice, it’s the phone of equality, and it’s the song about the spreading the wealth around, ALL OVER THIS LAND!”
That would be a lot easier to take than what we’re going to get tonight, the most insufferable gasbag of the last hundred years lecturing us about the “middle class” and how we have to help them find decent jobs, which in his mind means a minimum wage job that pays at least $10 an hour. I’ve got news for you, Barack. The bystander act has lost its ability to protect you from the obvious reality. You own this economy. You own America’s loss of standing in the world. You own the “tone,” the partisanship and division that your supporters whine about. You caused that with your relentless appeals to the worst aspects of human nature, envy and class-based rage. For you to pretend that you have just arrived on the scene to find a disaster that you can fix with a wave of your mighty hand is a ridiculous and laughable charade, almost as laughable as hearing a man who has never achieved anything, but rather has had everything handed to him thanks to affirmative action, talk about how if people work hard, they should be able to get ahead. What in God’s name does Barack Obama know about hard work being responsible for people getting ahead? Perhaps he could sign a decree allowing people to make a Declaration of Race Change so that they are eligible for the same sort of treatment he received that got him where he is today.
Sir, you are like the arsonist showing up and pretending to be stunned and horrified by the smoldering rubble of the house you burned down.
Live tweeting the SOTU. Drinking game perhaps? Here’s some.