Barack Obama’s Easy Peasy Three Step Victory Plan

Step 1: Shut Up, GOP! Romney is Your Nominee

As all the experts and brilliant media analysts have been telling you bitter clingers for months, Romney is the only electable alternative. Everybody, at least everybody smart, knows it. He is moderate enough to attract independents just like John McCain. Oh wait …forget about that. That won’t happen again. Romney’s your guy. Move on.

Step 2: As Any Fool Can Plainly See, Romney Sucks!

As soon as the inevitable has happened and the Republicans have rubber stamped the intelligent choice, destroy him as (1) a Wall Street fat cat who gleefully killed millions of jobs while getting filthy rich  (2) the originator of Obamacare and (3) a hollow flip flopper who can’t be trusted to hold the same position about important issues for more than 5 minutes, all of which you been endlessly repeating about him months before he was formally chosen. Covertly use his Mormon faith to raise doubts about him with evangelical and African-American voters.

Step 3: Party Like It’s 1999!

Marvel at how many times you can run the same routine on an allegedly smart group of people. Invite Matthew Dowd, Karl Rove and George Will over to the White House early in your second term.


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