Michelle Hijacks Oscars: Like Finding a Rat in the Bottom of Your Salad Bowl

Perhaps owing to my extremely low expectations, for most of last night’s Oscar broadcast, I was pleasantly surprised by Seth MacFarlane’s mediocre performance, which was lame as I expected, but not quite as crude and obnoxious. He was sort of like a game show host who laughed a lot at his own jokes. I will say that I thought the sock puppet “Flight” was one of the funniest things I have ever seen on an awards show in years, which, granted, is a very low standard, so there was that, but that happened within the first 20 minutes of the show, and by the time over 3 hours had passed, the satisfaction provided by that little morsel had worn off. If I wore a watch, I would have been looking at it after the first hour. As always, many of the speeches provided more proof that actors are a lot like Barack Obama; that is, if we want them to even masquerade as being articulate and intelligent, we need to write them scripts. It was a little jarring when Barbara Streisand showed up because I thought “here we go,” as in we’ve managed to get through this entire thing without any political speeches, and here comes this brainless big mouth, but Babs didn’t utter a controversial word while eulogizing her late friend Marvin Hamlisch, and I’ll admit it. As much as I hate her politics, she can sing, which is why, as I recently explained to a couple of friends is why she never had the schnoz fixed. No one could predict how a nose job would affect her voice. They got this “I could have a had a V-8!” look. No one thinks about that but it’s true.

Speaking of singing, while watching Jennifer Hudson, I turned to the Husband and said “when did screeching become a substitute for singing?”

Anyway, just when we thought we had made it through this thing without many obnoxious leftwing lectures, other than the one lame MacFarlane remark about the “Christian right,” who shows up to highjack the thing but the First Klingon herself? When Mooch, looking like a drag queen with her usual ridiculously excessive makeup, with members of the military as props, hijacked this show, it was like finding a dead rat at the bottom of your salad.

Now, we find out that the repulsive Hollywood pig Harvey Weinstein engineered this whole thing. Hey, Mooch, I’ve got an idea for you? Why don’t you enlist your pal Harvey in your “Let’s Move” routine? He looks like he could use a little help in that department. And as long as I ‘m going there, let me suggest that you might want to get David “More Chins Than a Chinese Phonebook” Axelrod and Robert I was sworn to secrecy about that drone thing” Gibbs on that Stairmaster while you’re at it. Gee, I wonder if we would have heard any speeches about targeted killings and transparency if a Republican were conducting this drone campaign …

Seriously, I understand that the Obamas owe Hollywood big time for all the campaign contributions, and that Hollywood limousine libs are among the most enthusiastic members of the Cult of Obama, but this routine last night was way over the top. The only saving grace was that the Celebutard-in-Chief himself didn’t show up.

I can’t decide whether this current popular culture/Lame Stream Media environment, in which there is no serious journalism, only TMZ and “Entertainment Tonight” coverage conning low-information people into thinking they are getting actual news, seems more like North Korea or Peròn’s Argentina.

Oh, Quitcher Blubbering

The word for today is schadenfreude. It’s a delightful word. Let me explain how it is used properly.

Take this news story, for instance.

MALIBU, Calif. (AP) — A dead whale rotting near the Malibu homes of Barbra Streisand, Bob Dylan and other celebrities is causing a gigantic cleanup problem as authorities try to decide who’s responsible for getting rid of it.

Stop laughing. How would you like to live next to  that stinking rotting corpse and Rosie O’ Donuts too?

I’m sure PETA would know what to do. Think of all the snail darters that could feast off this massive carcass. Where is the EPA? They should be demanding that it stay on the beach. It could feed the flying rats for months!

Far be it for me to expect these liberal types to figure out what to do. They’ll need a committee with a blue ribbon panel to ‘study’ the problem. That will mean money from the U.S. Government.

Maybe Babs could just sing to it. Then it will want to go away.

I could tell them what not to do.

“Never let a crisis go to waste.”