Secular Left-Wing Rag Time Magazine’s New “Historic” Fave is The Pope

I have repeatedly warned you that the use of the word “historic” by the media to create a cult of personality around their latest left-wing celebrity is a HUGE red flag (see Carol Moseley Braun, and Barack Hussein Obama). I’m sure you won’t be surprised to learn that the reason is not only because he’s “historic” because he’s the first pope from Latin America. No, it’s also because he embraces the touchy-feely, emotionally-driven, Outback Steakhouse view of the Catholic Church; that is, forget those irritating prohibitions against abortion and homosexuality, come back and pretend to be a true believer. Put down your crystals and whatever other crap you got from the Oprah to help you feel spiritual and we will welcome you even if you want to join the club without following the rules. The money quote from the Time editor explaining this rationale occurs at ~1:30 in the video above.


My Top Ten Picks for the New Pope

With Pope Benedict announcing that he will be stepping down at the end of this month, it’s time to look at some of the likely (and some unlikely) candidates to succeed him. Conceding that some black Cardinal (don’t know his name and don’t care) from Africa and Timothy Dolan from New York are the top two candidates, there is still some room for dark horse candidates.

Here are my picks for the top ten odds-on underdogs who might not make great Popes in the traditional sense, but would sure make the illuminati of the popular culture happy. I realize that they are not all Catholics, but should that really matter? If we can have gay Boy Scout leaders, shouldn’t we be able to have non-Catholic Popes? This is the twenty-first century, after all.

10. Bill Clinton. Based on his elevation to deity by the mainstream media, America’s randy ex-president would have to accept a drop in status, but still might consider the job if the celibacy thing can be revoked.
9. Mickey Rourke. Unlike Clinton, Rourke is at least a Catholic, and the papacy might benefit from a Pontiff with a scraggly, hacked up face and a tough guy image. Take that, Ayatollah!
8. Tina Fey. First woman Pope. What an advance for humankind. Ms. Fey has demonstrated her brilliance with her Sarah Palin imitation. Now it’s time for her to sanctify us with her holiness. She is holy, isn’t she? After all, she is the creator of 30 Rock…
7. Nancy Pelosi. Also would be the first woman Pope, and she is definitely a Catholic in the values smorgasbord sense. This choice would thrill Planned Parenthood and could raise big bucks for the Church in the U.S.
6. Ron Reagan Junior. Lil Ronnie has pretty much shot his wad as a color man at televised dog shows. It’s time for the big time. And imagine the synergy he’d create with Bishop Desmond Tutu.
5. Christopher Dorner. This assumes that the crusading ex-cop is still alive at the end of the month. This would make the tweeting left very happy, as Dorner is doing what a Pope is supposed to do- fighting racism. As to his cold blooded killing of innocents; hey, that’s why we have confession.
4. Barack Obama. The Church has a lot of wealth. Who better to redistribute it?
3. Lady Gaga. The third and final woman (as least she says she’s a woman) candidate, the Gag-ster would definitely send thrills up the legs of the College of Cardinals.
2. Steve Kroft. As official Obama ass kisser, Sixty Minutes correspondent Kroft could bring his eager pucker to the Holy See and personally oversee the effort to make Barack Obama the first non-Catholic saint, and the first saint to be cannonized via FaceBook.
1. David Brock. Brock, the quasi-religious homosexual founder of Media Matters, would be the first ever admittedly gay (the key word is admittedly) Pope. Since we all know that Jesus, like Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Abraham Lincoln and every great leader in history with the exception of stud President Bill Clinton (see item 1) was gay, Brock would be a most fitting choice, especially for fans of the TV show “Glee.”

Alright, I know these picks are B.S. None of these numb nuts would make a great Pope or a great anything. Fact is, they all suck, with the possible exception of Mickey Rourke. But look at it this way- with this collection of liberal freaks running the Church, the rest of us would seem very, very normal. And perhaps the world at large would realize it.

“How Stupid Does He Think We Are” File: Obama’s Contraception “Compromise”

Today the One, King Barack I, announced his latest edict on requiring that employees receive “free” contraceptives, including abortifacients, from their employers. It’s a good thing he stepped in. After all, what kind of a rotten country would deprive women of essential products like birth control and morning after pills, and by “deprive,” of course I mean making them pay for them themselves rather than have their neighbors do so. Our wise Dear Leader would have none of that. His brilliant “compromise,” designed to avoid that pesky First Amendment problem of requiring religious institutions to pay for services that violate church doctrine, is a ridiculous shell game. Here’s part of what he said this afternoon:

Under the rule, women will still have access to free preventive care that includes contraceptive services, no matter where they work. So that core principle remains, but if a woman’s employer is a charity or a hospital that has a religious objection to providing contraceptive services as part of their health plan, the insurance company, not the hospital, not the charity, will be required to reach out and offer the woman contraceptive care free of charge, without co-pays, without hassles.

Cool! Not only do they get their Baby No More pellets. They get them without “hassles” from the Man!

Still, I’m a little confused. Employers don’t have to pay, but the employees’ insurance companies do? Just who is going to pay them? The Tooth Fairy? Wouldn’t that be the aforementioned employers? The reality is that it will be all of our employers, and all of us, just another little poison pill we’ve discovered now that Congress passed the Obamacare law so we can find out what’s in it.

I can’t believe that even Chris Matthews believes it when he says that this phony plan “solves” any problem, other than the political problem that arose for Obama when the Catholic Church stood up to his unconstitutional bullying, what Obama calls “basic fairness for all Americans.” As Liberty Counsel notes on Illinois Review, this scheme is a transparent accounting gimmick, nothing more.

Clearly the White House and the Obama campaign, which are one in the same, have made the calculation that they can use this fig leaf to fool the low-information, emotionally-driven liberal cafeteria Catholics, who are invested in supporting the “progressive” agenda, an agenda that relies on a level of coercion that offends not only the Constitution, but basic human decency.

Their repeated success at conning the American public over the last five years has convinced this bunch that we are truly a nation of dolts. When will their luck run out?

 Cross-posted at Illinois Review.

What am I missing? SOMEONE has to pay for these “essential” services, no?

This morning, Obama’s propagandists are spinning like tops, trying to fool low information viewers into believing that he has “caved” on his administration’s trampling the First Amendment.
Oh happy days are here again! Behold the mighty hand of the Great Compromiser! I’ll ask again: just how stupid do these people think we are?What am I missing? Now, instead of coercing religious organizations to pay for services that violate their consciences, he’s going to coerce insurance companies. And, where, Dear Reader do you think the insurance companies will get the money to pay for that?

From the WaPo:

Women still will be guaranteed coverage for contraceptive services without any out-of-pocket cost, but will have to seek the coverage directly from their insurance companies if their employers object to birth control on religious grounds.

Religiously-affiliated non-profit employers such as schools, charities, universities, and hospitals will be able to provide their workers with plans that exclude such coverage. However, the insurance companies that provide the plans will have to offer those workers the opportunity to obtain additional contraceptive coverage directly, at no additional charge.

The current controversy was never about contraception. These products are widely available and do not involve the sort of extraordinary expense that insurance was intended to cover. It has always been about one thing and one thing only: coercion, Barack Obama’s dream of the federal government’s having the power of life and death over every American. Nothing he did or said today changes this debate one bit. As noted yesterday,  the Regime “works with” its opponents the same way Tony Soprano worked with Phil Leotardo.

His Highness King Barack has spoken. In his benevolence, he has decided to stop persecuting religious organizations. For now.