The Stair Climbing Senior, Fake Amazon Babies, Shacking Up Seniors, and Other Freeloaders We Can Live Without

I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. In fact, I never make them, but the beginning of a new year is a good time to assess how we can correct our mistakes and do better going forward. One of the most effective things we could do in to make that happen would be to rid ourselves of one of the most destructive plagues afflicting our country, a malady that can and may destroy us if we don’t do something about it, and fast. What is it? Please read on.

If you really want to set off an ear-splitting, migraine-inducing wail fest from the Left, because they are so cute when they are faux angry, just start talking about how disgusted you are when you see slackers, and deadbeats, otherwise known as the takers, people like the women in this infamous video, squealing with delight over getting free stuff from Barack’s stash. Then there was another eager would-be government ward, Peggy Joseph, who put on an embarrassing clinic in the ignorance, and perhaps even stupidity, that causes an adult to believe in Santa Claus aka Barack Obama.

I share the mixed emotions that I suspect these wretches inspire in many of you; specifically, the loathing of their lack of personal responsibility and their apparent complete willingness to be supplicants, surviving on the crumbs tossed their way, by a supposedly benevolent state, and the genuine sadness that anyone in this country would be content to be dependent on the government, unconcerned that she is being supported by her hard-working neighbors. Whether she realizes it or not, this woman is a freeloader, and an enthusiastic one at that. She doesn’t try to hide it or deny it because, unfortunately, she obviously doesn’t see anything wrong with it.. There are still many people who do associate some sigma with this attitude, but, still, the freeloader mentality is spreading. It’s not just for welfare baby mamas and their serial sperm donors anymore. Let’s not spare the Solyndra-style crony capitalists, the disability couch potatoes and other recipients of various government largess. Other than our veterans, nearly everyone getting a government check is, if not a full-blown freeloader, dangerously close to becoming one.

It’s this freeloader mentality that will eventually turn us from a mighty nation populated by resourceful rugged individualists into an anemic, Euro-style passel of grey mice, traveling from their little state-owned cubicles on government-run mass transit to their subsistence jobs and back. It’s the freeloader mentality that told some people that Obamacare was not a ridiculous hoax. How else could anyone believe that they could keep everything they liked without any changes, while people at death’s door would get “insurance?”

I have had it with freeloaders, and not just the obvious variety. They are everywhere, as previously noted, in every strata of society. Consider a few closer to home examples:

Stair climbing Senior

A friend who lives in a condo building told me that one of her neighbors has a unique form of cardiovascular exercise. He likes to go up and down the building’s stairs. Unfortunately, not only does this senior citizen, with little else to do, like to get in his neighbors’ faces and regale them with stories about his staircase heroics (“I climbed 300 flights this week!”), as a result of his constant pounding, the carpet is threadbare. Does this guy offer to pay for the cost that he imposed on everyone else because, instead of doing what a decent person would do, either getting his own exercise equipment, jogging outside, or joining a gym, he chose to destroy the common area? Of course not. Like it or not, Pops, unless you pony up with the cost of replacing that carpet, you are a freeloader. Do everyone a favor. Get a treadmill. Bonus suggestion: do you have one of those flip phones that are all the rage with your set? Call someone who cares how many flights you climbed.

 MS-NBC Advocate Fake Babies

A writer at the liberal website Slate suggested an innovative way to save money on household supplies: lie to amazon.com, in this case, by inventing a fake baby. As Matthew Yglesias says:

Amazon has a program called Amazon Mom that’s a pretty neat way to save some money on common household items. But here’s the thing. It turns out you don’t need to be a mom to sign up. You don’t need to be a dad, either. You just need to be a liar. …

And there’s no monthly fee and no extra commitment to buy stuff. You just need to tell Amazon some stuff about your baby—birthday and such—presumably so they can target you with baby-related offers. Except your baby can be fake. My baby, Tim Duncan Crawford, named after my wife’s favorite basketball player and given her surname, was born on December 14, 2013. Except he’s just a lie I created to get cheaper soap.

Sure, Matt, no worries! What’s a few lies if you can freeload a few bucks off some soap

Social Security Shack Ups

Recently, I was talking to two male acquaintances, when the conversation turned to who wears the pants in the family. One of the men said that he understood perfectly, and from the way he said it, it was clear to me that he appreciates the secret to having a good marriage. He nodded knowingly, if not approvingly, when I said “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Then I said, “Or as the great wedding toast says ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life.’” The other man said “It’s the same thing, even if you aren’t actually married. You don’t need a ring, after all, even though we’re going to get rings.” I replied “I couldn’t disagree more.” He responded “You don’t understand. At our age, we lose a lot of Social Security benefits by being married.” As much as it took to resist the temptation to sarcastically say “Oh, isn’t that adorable! They’re only in their 60′s and they’re playing house!,” it took even more willpower to avoid mentioning that current Social Security beneficiaries are receiving about $3 for every $1 they contributed to this soon to be bankrupt system. Are the beneficiaries of these middle-class “entitlements” (you’ve got to love that word!) freeloaders? Tell me in the comments.

Happy New Year.

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East Coast Brain Rot Explained: A Primer for Real Americans

(Note: The term “Real Americans” refers to those of us outside the Washington, D.C. inside-the-beltway bubble.)

I think I may have first realized it after an unfortunate self-inflicted overdose of watching Dana Perino, Karl Rove and Matthew Dowd on television. Suddenly, after hearing the phrase, “those Tea Party crazies have killed the Republican brand” one time too many, I had a Kevin McCarthy-like revelation. I do not refer to the Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) who is a member of the House leadership, although, I’m sure the Congressional McCarthy might have had a similar epiphany after watching that troika. No, I mean the Kevin McCarthy who starred in Don Siegel’s 1956 classic “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” McCarthy played Dr. Miles Bennell, who returned from a business trip to discover many of his friends and patients suffering from a bizarre malady, one about which they themselves are blissfully unaware. According to their worried loved ones, the afflicted appear identical to their former selves on the outside, but those who know them well are convinced that they’ve been replaced by unfeeling, dead behind the eyes lookalikes.

In the movie, whatever it is that turned these normal Americans into weird Doppelgängers isn’t identified, but when it comes to inside-the-beltway elitist pundits, I not only know what ails them, I have a name for it, one that came to me suddenly during that aforementioned-RINO fest. It’s not that their bodies have been occupied by some frightening alien life force. It’s that their brains have been severely eroded by an airborne ailment that eats away at the area of the cerebral cortex that regulates the ability to perceive events and situations accurately, and to use the life experience that fosters common sense to understand them. Like the malaria common to the Washington, D.C. swamps one hundred years ago, it’s prevalent in our nation’s capital, but it can be found in other large metropolitan areas. If you display any of the following symptoms, you may be suffering from this same problem: (1) the obsessive need to be admired by people who despise you and everything you claim to stand for, and to be considered “reasonable” and “moderate” by them (2) the very mistaken, and demonstrably hilarious, belief that attendance at an Ivy League college is prima facie evidence that a person is intellectually superior to pinheads in the middle of the country who attend schools with names that end in “SU,” (3) heart palpitations and the breaking out in a cold sweat in terror at the thought that anyone might think that you are one a member of the “far right” and (4) the all-consuming desire to fit in with snooty, prissy East Coast elites. Is that you? (Dana, did you sneak over here again?) If you have any of these symptoms, you may have East Coast Brain Rot ™

Sadly, ECBR ™  is not limited to the chattering class, as they are known using the dull cliché that they use to describe themselves. Lack of original thought is another symptom, one they share with the leftists in academia and media that they are so desperate to impress. No, unfortunately, I can name several elected officials, even some who claim to be proud “conservatives” who show disturbing evidence of being infected. I would have thought Rep. Paul Ryan would be immune to this horrid plague, but apparently even a gun-loving, plain spoken, down-to-earth, but smart as a whip, son of the Heartland is not. Last week, I got a wake up call when Rep. Ryan penned a Wall Street Journal op-ed that sent thrills up the legs of the ECBR community (Yes, we’re looking at you, Medved) by claiming to address the issue of the entitlements that will turn this country into a bankrupt basket case without mentioning the Barack Obama’s hideous health care scheme. I realized then that even this guy can be seduced by the charms of being a member of the Washington elite. Obamacare is not only the mother of all entitlements. It is the crown jewel of Obama’s “transformation” of our precious country into a socialist utopia, and he doesn’t even mention it? A very bad sign.

How can this happen? I know it’s probably nearly impossible for you, Bitter Clinger, to imagine how thrilling it would be to be praised by Charles Krauthammer at a glittering Georgetown party, or to hear Dana Perino squeal with delight while acknowledging your brilliance as you explain “baseline budgeting,” but try this analogy to gain some understanding. What if you were suddenly on the receiving end of gushing admiration by the cast of Duck Dynasty times Sarah Palin times Wayne LaPierre? See, that’s what I’m talking about. Imagine what they might get you to say or do to keep their love. “Yes, actually, I have taken down and dressed several moose. Why do you ask?”

So the next time you ask yourself how a Republican could say something more suitable to a liberal democrat, now you have your answer. Dedicated conservative patriots continue to labor day and night to find a cure for ECBR ™ In the meantime, you have been warned.

BREAKING: Gang of 8 to Announce Latest Attempt To Trick Us Into Supporting Amnesty

From ABC News:

Early Thursday morning, the bipartisan “Gang of Eight” senators will announce an agreement to strengthen border security.

ABC News has confirmed that the Senate “Gang of Eight” has reached an agreement to strengthen border security provisions in their bill that they hope will deliver the 70 crucial votes needed for the measure.

According to a high ranking Senate aide, a formal announcement is expected Thursday morning.

A second capitol hill source tells ABC News the agreement will include a major border  build up, with a huge increase in border personnel and an increase in fencing.  The change will mean the legislation could deliver the 70 votes desired by the bipartisan group, a hill source said.

Nice try, Guys, but here’s the bottom line. We’re on to you. The only way to assure us that you are prepared to secure the border is to actually secure the border BEFORE any illegals currently in the country are given any “provisional” (read special) status. Last week, alleged supporters of improved border security like Sen. Marco “What Does Being Played Mean?” Rubio could not even support Sen. Grassley’s amendment that would require the border to be secure for at least 6 months before any new legal status for those who have knowingly and brazenly violated our laws. As noted here, yesterday Sen. Rubio voted against Sen. David Vitter’s amendment that would have required the implementation of an entry-exit system to track visa overstays before illegal immigrants are granted legal status. I can’t imagine why some of us are skeptical about Sen. Rubio’s desire to secure the border, can you?

In addition, any certification that the border is secure that is based on Janet Napolitano thinking it is, or pretending it is, is a non-starter. And as we noted on last week’s edition of The Teri O’Brien show, adding a meaningless certification letter from the comptroller, as Sen. Cornyn’s amendment does, doesn’t add anything. It’s another trick.

Finally, as we discussed yesterday, the rosy headlines about the Congressional Budget Office’s scoring of the Gang of 8 proposal, and all the claims that, as Ezra Klein and friends say here in the WaPo, it “grows the economy, cuts deficits, raises wages, legalizes eight million undocumented workers, makes the American workforce more productive, and adds more than 10 million workers to an aging economy,” is not credible for several reasons. First, remember that the CBO is not an objective evaluator of the facts. The CBO must accept the assumptions provided to it by Congress. In this case, the proponents of this bill made it look artificially good by pretending that the newly-legalized residents would not be eligible for any federal benefits for at least ten years. Not only is this assertion actually at odds with the actual terms of the bill, it’s at war with reality. On the June 2, 2013 edition of The Teri O’Brien Show we played audio of an illegal alien who has been living on welfare for twenty years. Are we really so guilible that we believe that this new bunch won’t be able to do the same thing? PULEEZE!

Also, I note one interesting number in the benefits cited by Mr. Klein from the CBO report; specifically, “legalizes eight million undocumented workers.” (emphasis mine) Assuming that the 11 million number that we keep hearing is correct, what about the other three million? Are they going to “self deport?” Are they going to continue to “live in the shadows?”

It should be more than obvious to anyone paying attention at this point that this bill is a DISASTER. Please contact your Senator today and ask him about the issues raised in this post, and this one (Seven Questions for Proponents of Gang of 8′s Amnesty) as well. We can stop this train wreck, but we have to let them know that we’re on to ti.

In Countries Where Dictators Demonize the Rich, Only Dictators Live Rich

In countries led by demagogues who come to power promising “fairness” and an end to “income inequality,” putting a stop to an unacceptable situation, otherwise known as the American way of life, the reality is that only the demagogues themselves live large. They vow to smash an outmoded system, in which the evil rich have the audacity to spend the money they earn on what they want, while the “middle class,” (including slackers, welfare baby factories, and that guy with the shopping cart talking to his imaginary friend outside of Starbuck’s) scrapes by on meager wages. Then they come to power, and everyone except the political royalty scrapes by. Consider North Korea and Cuba. We have an example of that undeniable truth on prominent display, the Obamas themselves. To wit, from the White House Dossier:

President Obama is reportedly scheduled to be vacationing in Hawaii on January 2, the date billions in spending cuts – and untold consequences for the economy – will kick in if a deal is not reached on the “fiscal cliff.”

According to the Hawaii Reporter, residents who live in the area of Oahu where Obama and his family vacation have been told that the usual restrictions on their movements during an Obama stay will be in place for 21 days, from December 17 through January 6.

Let’s right, Peasants. Your emperor is visiting and he doesn’t want to have to deal with your sorry riff-raff rear ends while he’s trying to enjoy his entitlements.

The Hawaii Reporter estimates that the total cost of the vacation to Hawaii and federal taxpayers, including funding for travel, staff and protection, is at least $4 million. Obama’s vacations are more expensive than those of previous presidents because of the huge costs to fly Air Foce [sic] One and an accompanying cargo plane for nine hours or so to Hawaii.

At the risk of stating the obvious, I’ll say it again. Barack and Michelle figure reparations have to start somewhere, and it may as well be with them. They continue to live at a level of luxury unheard of in human history, largely on the backs of taxpayers, because they successfully convinced a bunch of suckers and fools that they “care” more about them than people like Mitt Romney, who also lives large, albeit with his own money. Apparently “caring” means giving people food stamps and a few other crumbs from the political royalty’s table, not policies that promote economic growth and prosperity.

I ask you Obama voters out there: are you going to spend 21 days on a $4 million, taxpayer-subsidized Hawaiian vacation? Valerie, no fair. You don’t count.

Somehow the grifters are now the good guys.