First published at Clash Daily
If there’s one thing we know about Obama, it’s that he cares.
If there’s one thing we know about our Dear Reader, Barack Hussein Obama (Praise be his name), it’s that he cares about people, especially the little people, that 47% that that rich, selfish Mitt Romney dissed during that infamous appearance in front of a group of equally selfish, greedy, uncaring rich people. Everybody knows that if caring about the “middle class” were people, Barack Obama would be China. If caring were measured in grains of sand, Barack Obama’s caring would be more than all the grains of sand on all the beaches of a thousand planet Earths. Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH) can cry all he wants. He could even persuade the Oprah to interview him, and he could cry on live TV during the interview in which he declares that, like Sen. Mark Kirk, he now understands that all that matters is “who you love and who loves you back.” Still, even after that, soccer mommies, American Idol groupies and all other similarly situated low-information observers would know that Barack cares more about them than Speaker Boehner does or anyone else ever has or ever will.
How else to explain his latest incredibly caring and magnanimous evidence of his tremendous caring, offering to give back 5% of the salary that we subjects pay him to rule us? It’s hard to believe, but this preternatural creature earns only $400,000 a year for the tremendously difficult work that he does just for us. It would be a bargain at twice that annual price to be led by one so brilliant, so wise, and, yes, so caring, and yet he’s going to give back! Isn’t that what life is all about? What more can this man do for us? Once again, he is leading by example, Peasant.
Some naysaying bitter clingers, cynical as ever, have tried to sully Barack’s beautiful, selfless act by bringing up the following facts, which they foolishly believe will tarnish the public’s opinion of our beloved Dear Leader (Reader):
- Barack Obama’s net worth is between $2.8 and $11.8 million. In 2011, he reported earnings of $789,674, down from the $1,728,096 he reported for 2010. That was down from about $5.5 million in 2009. Once again, these mean-spirited haters are hoisted on their own petard. Barack has empathy because, like yours, his income has gone down every year that he has been in office. So there. More evidence of how much he cares because he is just like you!
- By giving back 5%, Barack Obama will be returning $20,000 to the Federal Treasury, or less than he spent flying Air Force One out to California for his most recent fundraiser. This amount won’t have any effect on his lifestyle because he lives in government housing, and he doesn’t pay for the gas in caravan of SUV’s that transport him and his family. Plus, he’s really rich. Sure, all that’s true, but he still cares about you, Peasant. Just because his lifestyle is not affected one iota by what you call a “symbolic and meaningless gimmick,” unlike this guy, Jeff Maryak, who has suffered a 27% pay cut as a result of the sequester, that doesn’t change how much it shows that he cares. Mr. Maryak, a Bronze Star winner has resorted to delivering pizzas at night after doing his 9-5, and he still can’t make ends meet, so he is seeking a military redeployment. I have no doubt, though, that Mr. Maryak felt so much better today when he learned of President Obama’s magnificent gesture.
- Some point out that perhaps President Obama was not motivated to give back 5% of his pay by his love and caring for his people, but rather because of the drop in his approval rating, which may have resulted from the suspension of White House tours, something the little people and their children look forward to during their Spring Break vacations. When juxtaposed with the Obama family’s perpetual vacations, including the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous style “sun and ski” combo recently enjoyed by the Obama daughters, some suggest that he needed to do something to remind the downtrodden how much he cares about them, more than he cares about anything else on this earth. Now he has. I hope that everyone is satisfied and can now move on. Oh yes, some people like those whiners over at Judicial Watch, who are going to insist on finding out how much the Obama princesses recent trip cost taxpayers, won’t, but the rest of us should feel our hearts swell just thinking about how much our wise ruler cares.
- Finally, some have actually pointed out that Barack Obama did this to be “in solidarity” with “government workers,” and have suggested that this language sounds like something out of the old Soviet Union’s lexicon. They also note that, while he never fails to show concern for government employees who lose their jobs, always citing the horror of even one public school teacher being laid off, for example, he seems completely unconcerned about the jaw-dropping increase in the number of people in private sector who have become so discouraged in the Obama economy that they have completely stopped looking for work. These people have completely checked out, and like ghost workers they haunt our economy. The labor participation rate in 2008 was over 66 million, and it has dropped every year of Barack Obama’s presidency. Now it stands at 63.5 percent. It’s wrong to criticize Barack Obama for not mentioning people displaced from the private sector. He cares about these lost workers, too. We know he does because that’s one thing everybody knows about Barack Obama. That he cares. More than anyone.
