Chinese Nationals Engage in “Birth Tourism.” Is it time to get rid of birthright citizenship?
Obama administration admits it has NO CLUE about whether the border is secure.
Rand Paul’s Open Borders Endorsement
Can Nanny Bloomberg buy America, including your 2nd Amendment rights?
Chicago ranks dead last in enforcing federal gun laws
Bloated orca Michael Moore is disgusted by America’s fear racism, and worship of guns, then laments that slaves weren’t permitted to have firearms.
Backlog of Veterans’ Claims to Reach 1 million This Month
Steve Vaus (Conservative Country Musician Who Created the song “Come and Take It”)
Clash Daily » Numb Nut Alert: Aurora Killer Converts to Islam (another piece of the puzzle falls into place)
Under the Radar
Immigration Vote Splits Gang of 8 : Roll Call News (Remember Joe “You Lie” Wilson? Shockingly, he was right. Senate votes down Jeff Sessions amendment that would bar immigrants who get green cards from getting free or subsidized health care)
With Pope Benedict announcing that he will be stepping down at the end of this month, it’s time to look at some of the likely (and some unlikely) candidates to succeed him. Conceding that some black Cardinal (don’t know his name and don’t care) from Africa and Timothy Dolan from New York are the top two candidates, there is still some room for dark horse candidates.
Here are my picks for the top ten odds-on underdogs who might not make great Popes in the traditional sense, but would sure make the illuminati of the popular culture happy. I realize that they are not all Catholics, but should that really matter? If we can have gay Boy Scout leaders, shouldn’t we be able to have non-Catholic Popes? This is the twenty-first century, after all.
10. Bill Clinton. Based on his elevation to deity by the mainstream media, America’s randy ex-president would have to accept a drop in status, but still might consider the job if the celibacy thing can be revoked.
9. Mickey Rourke. Unlike Clinton, Rourke is at least a Catholic, and the papacy might benefit from a Pontiff with a scraggly, hacked up face and a tough guy image. Take that, Ayatollah!
8. Tina Fey. First woman Pope. What an advance for humankind. Ms. Fey has demonstrated her brilliance with her Sarah Palin imitation. Now it’s time for her to sanctify us with her holiness. She is holy, isn’t she? After all, she is the creator of 30 Rock…
7. Nancy Pelosi. Also would be the first woman Pope, and she is definitely a Catholic in the values smorgasbord sense. This choice would thrill Planned Parenthood and could raise big bucks for the Church in the U.S.
6. Ron Reagan Junior. Lil Ronnie has pretty much shot his wad as a color man at televised dog shows. It’s time for the big time. And imagine the synergy he’d create with Bishop Desmond Tutu.
5. Christopher Dorner. This assumes that the crusading ex-cop is still alive at the end of the month. This would make the tweeting left very happy, as Dorner is doing what a Pope is supposed to do- fighting racism. As to his cold blooded killing of innocents; hey, that’s why we have confession.
4. Barack Obama. The Church has a lot of wealth. Who better to redistribute it?
3. Lady Gaga. The third and final woman (as least she says she’s a woman) candidate, the Gag-ster would definitely send thrills up the legs of the College of Cardinals.
2. Steve Kroft. As official Obama ass kisser, Sixty Minutes correspondent Kroft could bring his eager pucker to the Holy See and personally oversee the effort to make Barack Obama the first non-Catholic saint, and the first saint to be cannonized via FaceBook.
1. David Brock. Brock, the quasi-religious homosexual founder of Media Matters, would be the first ever admittedly gay (the key word is admittedly) Pope. Since we all know that Jesus, like Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Abraham Lincoln and every great leader in history with the exception of stud President Bill Clinton (see item 1) was gay, Brock would be a most fitting choice, especially for fans of the TV show “Glee.”
Alright, I know these picks are B.S. None of these numb nuts would make a great Pope or a great anything. Fact is, they all suck, with the possible exception of Mickey Rourke. But look at it this way- with this collection of liberal freaks running the Church, the rest of us would seem very, very normal. And perhaps the world at large would realize it.
Even as humankind faces extinction due to man made global warming, a researcher at NASA (National Association of Suicide Actuaries) has identified and even bigger threat to the survival of the United States: Suicide. According to Sergey Dyov, Senior Fellow at the federally-funded think tank, if the growth of the suicide rate among Americans maintains its current pace, by the year 4714, there are unlikely to be any of us left. “With a few minor adjustments to the computer model, and allowing for immigration, we might make it to 5200, but no further” stated a terse Dyov speaking before an alarmed audience at the National Underwriters of Theoretical Scenarios (NUTS) convention, which included the democratic congressional caucus. Dyov further stated that not even the election nor re-election of President Barack Obama seemed to reverse this trend. On the contrary, said the noted actuary and part-time fantasy football statistician, “The trend toward desiring to end one’s life since the Obama ascendancy has increased, especially among property owners, the employed and people with I.Q.’s over 77. This is very disturbing.”
In response, House minority leader Nancy Pelosi immediately announced that the democrats would be proposing a $60 trillion suicide prevention initiative intended to dovetail with the 2016 Presidential campaign. “We can’t just sit by and let ourselves kill ourselves” a tearful Pelosi told the editorial board of the New York Times over ice cream at the Cheesecake Factory in suburban New York. “If there’s one thing we can do for the children, it’s to make sure they’re aware of the finality of death.” As such, Pelosi announced that she was teaming up with Hollywood powerhouse Dreamworks SKG to develop a series of theme-based videos and cartoons based on “Larry the Lemming”, a fictional character who refuses to follow his friends over a steep cliff. Additionally, Pelosi, in conjunction with retailer Abercrombie & Fitch, announced new line of low rise, hip-hugging blue jeans for teen girls emblazoned with the campaign’s motto “Don’t Kill Yourself” across the derriers.
Despite strong support from President Obama, Pelosi said she expects to face strong opposition from the Republicans, but anticipates that they’ll eventually succumb.
Regular listeners to the Teri O’Brien Show are very familiar with the name theory, the theory that says that a person’s name often matches his profession. For example, when we had Dr. Thomas Saving, professor of economics & Director of Private Enterprise Research Center (PERC) at Texas A & M, who served two terms as a public trustee of the Social Security and Medicare as a special guest, we noted the appropriateness of his name for his job.
Now Nancy Pelosi and the other liberal hags in Congress are trying to maximize the political hay they have been making over the phony issue of “denial of contraception” by holding a phony “hearing” on the issue, featuring the witness they tried to insinuate into last week’s hearing about religious freedom. From Politico:
House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi is organizing a Democratic Steering and Policy Committee event on Thursday to allow Sandra Fluke, the Georgetown University law student who tried to testify at last week’s House Oversight and Government Reform Committee hearing, a chance to talk about the issue.
Pelosi aides say the House recording studio has denied a request to broadcast the event, “apparently” at the behest of the Republican-controlled Committee on House Administration.
Sandra Fluke? Seriously? The dictionary defines “fluke” as: “unlikely chance occurrence, esp. a surprising piece of luck.” And so, once again, the name theory is on display! In this case it means, we’ve managed to find some outlier mascot to tell a sob story that makes our political point, much like the pro-aborts who always manage to find some 12 year-old raped by her abusive father, her troglodyte half-brother and the local priest to demonstrate how cruel it is to have any restrictions whatsoever on abortion.
Democrats refer to Ms. Fluke as “a third year law student at Georgetown,” neglecting to mention that she is a contraception activist, past president of the school’s Students for Reproductive Justice group. Beware any of these liberal groups with the word “Justice” in their names. As you well know, it’s code for income redistribution. Apparently, according to some media reports, Ms. Fluke wanted to tell a compelling story about a friend, probably one of those imaginary friends that democrat activists invent when they need them, who lost an ovary due to evil, patriarchal regulations that deprived her of birth control pills.
Sadly, even if Pelosi and her harridan pals do get to hold their dress up game, like the revolution, it will not be televised.
Anyone who doubted the Left’s zero tolerance for challenging their pro-abortion orthodoxy got major wakeup call last week when the Susan G. Komen Foundation, a private charity dedicated to eradicating breast cancer, was on the receiving end of the Tony Soprano treatment from Planned Parenthood and their many democrat friends. After Komen dared to suggest that in the future it would fund organizations actually involved in preventing breast cancer, rather than protecting adult male predators by getting rid of the evidence of their crimes and otherwise terminating unborn children with extreme prejudice, the entire liberal media-political machine mobilized. They filled every broadcast and social networking outlet with their hysterical, and ridiculously predictable, rhetoric about attacks on “women’s health.” As usually is the case when liberals start whining about something, this whole “women’s health” routine was based on a lie. Planned Parenthood has as much to do with women’s health as Jack Daniels has to do with proper hydration. On today’s show, you’ll hear actual phone calls to Planned Parenthood outlets throughout the country, proving that they do not provide mammograms. No matter, Komen caved. No private organization can afford to have that coven of Congressional harridans led by Nancy Pelosi and Barbara Boxer after them, and because they dared to challenge Planned Parenthood, that’s where they found themselves.
Meanwhile, as her husband Barack crisscrosses the country promising to hand out goodies to nearly every potential voter, Michelle continues her popular culture outreach to a critical Obama voting block, people who can name every Kardashian but cannot name their member of Congress. Not only did she appear with Jay Leno, she also challenged Ellen DeGeneres to a televised pushup contest. Amazingly, Michelle, America’s number one fitness and nutrition expert, won! Who knew affirmative action rules were in effect not only for Ivy League college and law school admissions, but also for pushups?
Our special guest, Jeanie DeAngelis, prolific writer whose insightful and hilarious writing frequently appears at the American Thinker and also at her own blog Jeanie-o-logy, will weigh in about Planned Parenthood, Michelle and, of course, New Yorker that she is, today’s big game.
Tune in Sunday for the rest of the story.
Politics, Pop Culture, the Hottest Issues of the Day, and Your calls. The Teri O’Brien Show, featuring America’s Original Conservative Warrior Princess, Live and in vivid red, white and blue, Sundays 2-3:30 pm Central time at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Teri-OBrien. Daring to Commit Common Sense, Fearlessly, and More Important, Cheerfully, in the Age of Obama.
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I wonder if Barack Obama will mention this interesting little factoid during his performance tonight. From Investor’s Business Daily:
The last time the Democratic-controlled U.S. Senate passed a budget was April 29, 2009 — 1,000 days ago. It’s no mystery why: They don’t want taxpayers to know about the trillions they’re wasting.
Precisely. The piece goes on to point out that when the last budget was passed, our Sham WOW (Walks on Water) current occupant of the Oval Office praised Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid for passing what is an essential “foundation for growth.” So much for that idea.
Please check out this excellent Heritage Foundation video that drives home the point, What Can You Do in 1000 Days? And the footnote video, featuring all the hot news events that have occurred since the Senate last passed a budget. (H/T Power Line).
Gee, I wonder if the major network newscasts will lead with this story?