Current TV’s Newest Star, Gavin Newsom [UPDATED]

 

You're only 19? No problem! I'm the Mayor!

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If those three disgraced Secret Service agents who recently resigned after that unfortunate hooker thing are looking for new gigs, I suggest that they give Al Gore a call. His Current TV just announced its latest new hire, vapid empty suit/reprobate and current California Lt. Governor, Gavin Newsom. It’s easy to see why the network that recently snapped up Eliot “Client #9” Spitzer would find him a great fit. Consider these achievements over the last decade:

He was flouting the rule of law before the One made it cool.

In February 2004, in a tremendous act of political courage, as mayor of a city universally recognized as homosexual headquarters, he unilaterally decided to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The marriages were invalidated later that year by the California Supreme Court, ruling that Newsom had overstepped his bounds, demonstrating that they don’t understand the fierce urgency of now!

And how about these stellar achievements?

In December 2006, Newsom showed up intoxicated at San Francisco General Hospital, where police officers and family members were gathered to mourn a cop who’d just been killed in the line of duty; this came a couple of months after he was photographed out drinking with a model he’d been dating who was only 19 years old. As it happened, the day before the photos of him with the model appeared, Newsom met a knockout blonde named Jennifer Siebel, an ex-girlfriend of George Clooney’s who has had small parts in more than a dozen films, including Something’s Gotta Give and In the Valley of Elah. She and Newsom were just falling in love — they’ve since become engaged — when the real bomb went off.

Her name was Ruby Rippey-Tourk. She was Newsom’s former appointments secretary, another spectacular blonde and a member of that late-night inner circle as the wife of Alex Tourk, one of Newsom’s closest friends and his point man on homelessness. She was in a rehab program for substance abuse when the clearing-emotional-minefields part led her to tell her husband she’d had sex with the mayor. Alex Tourk confronted Newsom about it and promptly resigned.

Showing up as mayor drunk to mourn a murdered police officer? Encouraging under-age drinking? Banging the wife of a close friend? What’s not to like? I guess we can see why California, whose voters clearly know a superstar when they see one, is in such terrific shape today.

Plus, like recently launched Keith “I Caught My Head in a Subway Door” Olbermann, who himself has had some, shall we say, rather interesting interactions with women, Newsom has a mental disability. His dyslexia should make things really interesting. Gavin tries to read the TelePrompTer. Hilarity ensues. Hang on, Al Sharpton. You’re getting some company in that department.

No doubt about it. This move should vault Current TV into the ratings stratosphere. Or not.

UPDATE: If you were wondering, as I was, whether Lt. Gov. Newsom was going to step down as Lt. Gov. of California when he begins his new tv career, the answer is a firm “no.”

From Andrew Malcolm at Investors.com:

Many people had thought, accurately, that the lieutenant governor job in the nation’s most populous state was a full-time position. Surprisingly, Newsom’s spokesman agreed with his boss there was no conflict with state duties and would somehow showcase the Golden state nationally. He said Newsom would do little program preparation because he knows most of his guests already.

 

No worries. He gets paid $130,490 a year to do basically nothing, which the very financially stable State of California can easily afford.

 

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