The Trayvon Martin case – 15 really essential hypotheticals to wrestle with

I was reading yet another perspective on the Trayvon Martin case, and it seems that the Trayvon-o-philes have a very popular pastime:  asking hypothetical questions about the case.  Most commonly, “Can you imagine what the verdict would have been if Trayvon had been white and Zimmerman black?”  This got me thinking.  Since no one really knows the answer (although the Sharptonians and the Smileyans and Obamabots seem to believe that they do –  GUILTY BY VIRTUE OF BLACKNESS!) these questions are useless, except to reinforce the notion that “Amerikkka” is full of bigoted white people.

However, if we are going to indulge in the useless pursuit of pointless “prophet”- teering, we should probably also consider these too-important-to-ignore hypothetical scenarios:

  • What if Trayvon and Zimmerman were both black?
  • What if Trayvon and Zimmerman were both white?
  • What if Trayvon’s last name was Garcia?
  • What if George Zimmerman’s middle initial was W?
  • What if they were both white hispanics (like George Zimmerman)?
  • What if they were both white negroes (like President Obama)?
  • What if Florida were part of the British Commonwealth?
  • What if George Zimmerman had carried his pet armadillo instead of a gun, it had bitten Trayvon Martin and he got leprosy (that’s right non-NatGeo fans, those cute little armored things spread leprosy.)
  • What if George Zimmerman was legally married in California – to a man?
  • What if both were wearing women’s underwear?
  • What if Trayvon Martin’s ghost came back and beat the crap out of Piers Morgan?
  • What if Skip Gates had been there?
  • What if a piano had fallen on them during the fight?
  • What if Trayvon was a Hutu and George Zimmerman a Tutsi?
  • What if neither had hi-speed Internet?

You have to admit, had any one of these factors been in play, the verdict may have been different, very different.  Just ask juror Maddie.


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